FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize