I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
