Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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