Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
