The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize