they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize