I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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