He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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