just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
