why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
if only i could text you this smell
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
