Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
