If i come over, it means nothing
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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