Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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