If that was your dad, he is hot
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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