I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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