I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
