Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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