I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
