I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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