Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
