oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I currently don't understand fingers.
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