On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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