You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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