Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
