pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
is it fun? or sober?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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