mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's the barista slut.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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