So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
