He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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