But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
