yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
