those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
