It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
