Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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