It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize