I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
