she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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