so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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