i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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