try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Couch. On fire.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
