I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
