we made out on top of his cat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All the doctor said was why
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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