if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
