forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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