1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
