I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize