it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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