She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
