i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
