it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
