2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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