i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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