Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
