1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
