had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize