Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
