If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
