u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
