Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
